Be patient. While it would be wonderful if our kids got everything right the first time (rules, schoolwork, chores, etc.), they seldom do. Your expectations should keep pace with what is realistic and appropriate for them developmentally. Visit our Ages & Stages section for a guide.>
Tip of the Day March 25
Sometimes it can be more than apparent why you had to take a disciplinary action, but it doesn’t hurt to spell it out, even with your teenagers. I specifically forbade you to return with the car after dark because you’re not an experienced enough driver yet and I don’t want you to get hurt, or to hurt someone else. You’re not allowed to drive at all for the next two weeks, because you need to consider it a limited privilege until you’re at least eighteen.
Tip of the Day March 24
If you’re trying to build your child’s self-esteem, telling them they did a great job when they didn’t can do more harm than good – not only will they see right through it and begin to distrust your word, they will fear that they aren’t capable of doing better.
Tip of the Day March 22
Use the word ‘no’ appropriately. If you mean ‘maybe’ then say so. A ‘no’ followed by a ‘yes’ later sends the wrong message and may give your kids a sense of entitlement or diminish their ability to forgo things they want, even when it’s not what they need.
Tip of the Day March 21
If you’re exhausted from managing your career and your household, take a break by letting the kids make the plans once in a while for where to go and what activities you might try as a family. Give them parameters and help them execute the plan, but turn over the reins to help them build self-assurance.
Tip of the Day March 20
It’s sometimes tough to transition from making all your children’s decisions for them to letting them make decisions on their own. By providing them with two or three choices that are equally acceptable to you, you’re preparing them for going it alone later and preparing yourself to let go.
Tip of the Day March 19
Encourage your kids to try new things. While your finances may not permit a trip to Thailand, you can foster curiosity about the world by having your kids try new foods or attend cultural festivals happening locally.
Tip of the Day March 18
If you’re raising more than one child, it’s important to celebrate each child’s individuality. One easy way to do this is to organize an activity that you do with them, separate from other members of your family, that’s specific to their interests. Take your little artist to the museum, or go indoor climbing with your resident super-athlete.
Tip of the Day March 17
Tell your kids you love them often. You’ll find that this is easier to do if you’re also behaving in a loving and nurturing manner toward them. By saying it, you remind yourself to live it as well.
Tip of the Day March 16
If siblings, friends or other children seem to be surpassing your child in certain areas, resist the urge to share that observation with them. It will have a negative impact on how your child values herself and make her less motivated, a result that is probably precisely the opposite of what you intended.