Celebrating Milestones with Meaningful Traditions

Transition times provide great opportunities for parents to pass on their core values and beliefs to their children. The ways we recognize (or fail to recognize) important milestones say a lot to our kids about what we think about who they are and who they are becoming. Here are ideas for making the most of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.

Tips for . . .

parents with children ages birth to 5
- Hold a welcoming ceremony for new babies with family and friends, through a congregation, or with another significant community for your family. Invite guests to write messages you will save and give to your children when they are older.

The birth or adoption of a child is a time when many families step back and reexamine their traditions and rituals. Think about the kinds of rituals you want your children to experience as they grow and develop, and start creating those now.
parents with children ages 6 to 9
Honor accomplishments, special events, and new skills with activities rather than gifts. By spending special time with children in honor of rites of passage, you teach them to love maturing for its own sake and not for the “stuff” that comes with it.
When your kids start school, start a new tradition as well. One mom created a necklace of beads for her daughter. She and her daughter asked important people in their lives to select a bead for the chain as a reminder of all of the people who supported the girl and helped her grow into a child ready for kindergarten.

Whenever possible, start giving children specific roles as participants in other people’s rites of passage (such as weddings or milestone birthdays).
parents with children ages 10 to 15
Talk openly and positively about changes happening in your children’s bodies’ growth spurts and puberty. When your son’s voice begins to change or your daughter gets her period, celebrate in a way that suits your child—perhaps a special dinner or outing.

If you aren’t part of a religious tradition that has a ritual marking the beginning of adolescence, create one. One father invited important people in his son’s life to spend time with the son over the course of a day, talking with him about their ideas of what it means to be a man.
parents with children ages 16 to 18
When your children receive their driver’s licenses, celebrate. At the same time, talk about the responsibilities they now have for themselves, their future passengers, and other drivers. If appropriate, present them with special key chains that can serve as reminders of your faith in and expectations of them.
Be aware that some young people participate in unhealthy rites of passage involving things like hazing, gambling, sexual activity, or substance use. Talk with your children about how their peers mark life changes. Then, together with your children, make some positive plans of your own.

Involve teens in planning rites of passage, traditions, and other celebrations for other family members, such as younger siblings or grandparents.

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