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Juggling Work and Family: An Introduction


Most parents have two full-time jobs: the one they do for their employer, and raising their children. Maintaining a balance between your work and home lives can be difficult. In fact, it can be one of the most difficult parts of parenting, and each parent needs to find the balance that works for his or her unique situation. By using research-based strategies and learning from the experience of others, you can learn to find the balance that works for your life.

Did You Know?

  • For every additional hour worked over 40, the odds that a parent will express concern about the effect of long hours on his or her family and personal lives increases by 7 percent.1
  • In families where parents faced barriers to helping their children with homework (such as long work hours and inflexible schedules), 66 percent had children who were experiencing academic or behavioral difficulties at school.2
  • In the USA, 25 percent of men and 10 percent of women work over 48 hours every week.3

Even if you work more than 40 hours every week, it's still possible to create a balance between work and your family. It'll take some thought, and a lot of prioritization, and it may be frustrating sometimes. But it's been done before, and if you're patient, you'll find a way to satisfy your employer, be an effective employee, and juggle your work and family responsibilities to keep everyone--including yourself--happy.

Common Questions From Real Parents

My partner and I work different shifts so we have more time with our children, but that also means we rarely see each other. How can we maintain a good relationship in this environment?

Don’t give up an intimate and one-on-one relationship with your partner, even if it means once in a while taking time off for just the two of you. A lot has been made recently about having dinner together as a family. But any meal will do, as long as you sit down, talk, share food, and simply spend time in each other’s company. So try to find a meal to have together on a regular basis. It might help to experiment with sleep schedules that allow for the most time together. Also, try to forge connections with other families in similar situations. Having multiple sources of encouragement and day-to-day support can take some of the pressure off the relationship between parenting partners.

How can I find child care I can trust?

Start by asking anyone and everyone for referrals. Cast your net as wide as it will go, including parents of older and grown children. Once you have some options, spend time observing each setting. If you aren’t welcome to do so, that’s a definite warning sign. Also take time to interview caregivers, asking the questions that are key for you. Finally, trust your gut. If something feels great or just not comfortable, you are probably right.

I’m a single parent, so I have to work to support my family. How can I find balance?

Start by looking for nontraditional care arrangements; flexible child care can give you more options with your time. Perhaps a friend who works a different shift would be willing to help. Or a neighbor who cares for her grandchildren might watch your kids for a small fee. Don’t be afraid to ask. Also, if finances are an issue, look into whether your community has any scholarship or other support programs that could help pay for your children’s care. Finally, if you are able, seek out employers that are known for flexibility and work-family friendliness. The Sloan Work and Family Research Network’s list of family-friendly employers is a great place to start.

My partner makes more money than I do and that makes me feel like I’m contributing less to our family, even though I spend more time at home with the kids and managing other family responsibilities. How can we deal with this?

If it’s important to you or your partner, make lists of what you each do so you are getting a realistic picture of your contributions. Talk about your concerns. Also, if work and financial contributions are important to you, consider whether arranging for some child care so you can work more would be good for your family.

Assessing Your Priorities: A Discussion Guide >

Making Parenting a Priority


Parents are well aware of their responsibilities and obligations to their children, but sometimes life can get in the way. You get really busy at work, or have to clean the house, or get caught up in any number of other things. It happens. But sometimes, you need to put everything aside in the interest of parenting—and even though it can be hard, you’ll find that it’s worth it.

 
Set “work-free” times when everyone puts down their schoolwork, housework, office work, and other tasks and goes for a walk, plays outside, or does some other activity together.

If what you’re doing isn’t absolutely critical, be willing to put it down when your children want to play or talk—it lets your kids know they’re important, and it will give you a needed break from working.

Pencil them in! During particularly busy times at work, set aside days on the family calendar when everyone knows you will have time together. Plan for something enjoyable that everyone can look forward to.

Don’t forget your partner! Set time aside to spend with your parenting partner, a relative, or a friend—having a strong connection with members of your parenting network can help you get through the difficult times parenting may bring.

Remember: older kids, even if they don’t need your supervision as much as they used to, still need to spend time with you. Make time to just hang out with them on a regular basis.

All parents struggle sometimes to balance the priorities in their lives, especially if their jobs are very demanding. But sometimes, no matter how important everything else feels, you have to take a step back and realize that parenting your child is more important than cleaning the house or getting some extra work done.

Creating a Family-Friendly Workplace

Whether you’re an employee or an employer, you have the opportunity to help both yourself and other parents by making your workplace more family-friendly. And when other employers see the benefits of having a family-friendly workplace, such as higher employee morale and retention, they too may start to put some of these practices in place, benefiting even more families.

One of the ways to help balance your work and family lives—and help others do it too—is to work for change at your workplace. Many employers are very understanding when it comes to the responsibilities of parenting, but others are less flexible. Below are a few ideas you can use to make your workplace more family-friendly.

 
Talk to your human resources representative or another employer resource about creative strategies that will help you maintain balance between work and family without undermining your job responsibilities. You may be able to work from home one day a week, or in the late afternoons when your child is home from school.

Once you’ve worked out a plan with your human resources representative or ombudsman, talk to her about the best way to approach your supervisor about these possible changes.

If your company allows it, decorate your desk, office, or locker with your child’s drawings and paintings as well as pictures of him.

Encourage others in your workplace to do the same. Occasionally take your child to your workplace (even if it’s after hours) so he knows where you work and sees how you have surrounded yourself with mementos of him.

Your company’s work-life benefits, policies, and available resources can be useful tools in your search for balance. Use the benefits that are available and recommend additional benefits that would make it easier to be a productive employee. (Many companies offer 800-number hotlines or Web sites that explain employee benefits. If your employer has one of these resources, take advantage of it.)

If you are a supervisor or employer, you can take steps to make your workplace family-friendly for your employees. Remember that employees with high morale are more productive—and that parents who can create a work-life balance are more likely to be happy with their jobs.

Let your employees know you are interested in hearing about ways in which you can make it easier to balance work and family responsibilities. They may have ideas that would cost little or nothing, but may boost productivity, morale, and commitment to the company.

By offering education and support (through lunchtime seminars, employee newsletters, or other communications) you can have a positive effect on your employees’ home lives. Offering benefits such as flexible scheduling, tax-deferred child-care options, and time off for volunteering will be beneficial for both parents and nonparents alike. When Work ‘Works’ from the Families and Work Institute provides many valuable ideas on this topic.

Juggling Work and Family

Almost all parents struggle at some point with balancing their work and home responsibilities. Especially in a time when many parents regularly work more than 40 hours in a week, and kids are getting busier, it can be tough to feel connected with your family. But by being intentional about making parenting a priority and making it a point to spend time with your kids, you can find the balance of working and parenting that works best for you and your family.

Books Available from Search Institute

Other Useful Web Sites

  • Sloan Work and Family Research Network — The Research Network provides a great deal of useful statistics, research, advice, interviews, and other information on a large number of work-life related topics.
  • Families and Work Institute — The Institute conducts research and publishes findings on work-life issues, and you can find many useful reports available to download online.

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