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Spiritual Life: An Introduction

We don't always think of spiritual development as part of the overall process of growing up. But, as we mature, all humans spend time thinking about the meaning of life, why we are here, how we treat others and ourselves, and what we value. Our answers to these questions are always evolving, and they help shape our personal beliefs and personalities. It’s important to remember that spirituality can be expressed in a multitude of ways, regardless of the religious tradition that your family recognizes.

Did You Know?

  • Forty-nine percent of surveyed congregation members stated that “Guiding children and youth toward a life based on positive values” should be a high congregational priority in the future.

  • Most youth surveyed believe there is a spiritual dimension to life, and about one-third of youth surveyed see themselves as "very" or "pretty" spiritual.

  • Youth see religion and spirituality as related, but different. Both religion and spirituality are viewed positively by a majority of youth.
  • Young people say that everyday experiences--being in nature, listening to or performing music, being alone--and relationships with friends and family help them the most in growing spiritually.

Spiritual development is an integral part of establishing a personal identity, retaining a positive vision of the future, and creating a sense of life purpose. For these reasons, spiritual development should be fostered among youth in a variety of settings.

The Importance of Spiritual Development

Although it may seem that spirituality has little connection to positive youth development, it actually plays a significant role in how your child grows up. Regardless of religious and philosophical beliefs and worldviews, spiritual development is a core developmental process for young people. Children and teens engage in this process in many different ways, and with different emphases—and all are important.

  • Through making a connection to the transcendent, young people develop a sense of purpose in their lives, helping them understand that their actions are important and creating a positive sense of personal identity.
  • Similarly, spiritual development encourages a positive view of the young person’s personal future. According to Search Institute, youth are more likely to grow up healthy when they are optimistic about their future.
  • Young people involved in faith communities are more likely to feel supported, valued, and empowered than those not involved in these communities.
  • Youth who place importance on spiritual development are much less likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as tobacco use, illicit drug use, driving under the influence of alcohol, school problems, alcohol abuse, and antisocial behavior.
  • Studies show that children and teens who are religiously active are more likely to have eight different indicators of thriving, including getting good grades, resisting danger, maintaining physical health, and leadership.
  • It has also been shown that youth who are religiously involved have higher levels of Developmental Assets, the building blocks of successful healthy development. 1
  • For more information on the connection between spirituality and positive youth development, see the Center of Spiritual Development’s Fast Facts page.

Spirituality, no matter how your child experiences it, is important for healthy, positive development. Encourage your child to take part in a faith community or explore different expressions of spirituality to expose her or him to many different facets of spiritual development.

Fostering Spiritual Development

Because spiritual development is so important to positive youth development, it’s crucial to help your children explore their spirituality, starting at a young age—regardless of your religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs. There are many ways to encourage your child’s spiritual exploration, and children respond differently (especially across different faith traditions). So try some of the suggestions below, and see what helps your child grow.

  • Involve young children in your religious practices, and adapt those practices to your child’s age. Many children aren’t able to sit still for very long when they’re young, so provide something that they can do quietly in case they lose interest.
  • Expose your children to different expressions of spirituality through books, art, and music. Talk about how the different expressions might indicate different faith traditions and interpretations of those traditions.
  • Encourage your kids—especially tweens and teens—to take part in positive groups and organizations that reinforce and nurture spiritual commitments.
  • Model the spiritual and religious beliefs that are important to you, and set a good example for your kids. Actions often speak louder than words, and your children learn a great deal by observing your actions.
  • Regularly engage your older children in discussion about spiritual topics, but don’t force the issue. Be open to different interpretations of your faith tradition or your child’s interest in a tradition other than your own. Ask questions to clarify, and don’t judge what he or she says.
  • By regularly spending time with families and groups that share your spiritual beliefs, practices, and priorities, you can encourage your child to begin building a network of spiritual support.

Whether or not your child is currently involved in a spiritual community or spiritual exploration, continue to encourage him to explore his spirituality through new and different experiences and expressions. Don’t be discourage if your child isn’t immediately attracted to the idea of spirituality—just keep supporting her or him and be patient.

Expressing Spirituality

It can be easy to think of spirituality simply as participation in a faith community or belonging to a particular religious tradition. Spirituality, however, includes many things outside of those traditionally considered to be “religious.” Because spiritual development involves such things as self-awareness, experiencing significance in one’s sense of the transcendent (which may include an understanding of God or a higher power), and developing a sense of purpose, there are many ways to express spirituality.

  • There is no consensus on the relationship between religion and spirituality, and your child may express spirituality outside of a faith tradition. Be open to and encourage your child’s expressions of spirituality, even if they don’t coincide with yours.
  • Expressions of spirituality vary widely between individuals; some may take part in community service projects; others attend services at a church, mosque, or synagogue; others may engage in meditation or other means of reflection. No matter how your child expresses his or her spirituality, offer support and encouragement.
  • Although participation in a faith community is not required for spiritual development, it can be very beneficial. By involving your child in a faith community, you give him or the opportunity to connect with other youth and adults, to further his community involvement, and to see many different expressions of spirituality that he may connect with.
  • Older children often seek out adults with deep spiritual commitments—support this endeavor, even if you do not share those specific commitments. Exposure to different cultures and belief systems can help your child examine and define her own.
  • Talk to your child about her or his expressions of spirituality, as well as your own. Talk about how individuals may express their beliefs in many different ways, and encourage your child to think about how to best express her or his spirituality.

No matter how your child expresses her spirituality, support her in it. Whether or not she agrees with your religious or spiritual views, it’s important to foster spiritual development by allowing her to explore different expressions of spirituality and beliefs.

Talking about Spirituality

It’s important to talk with your kids about spirituality, but it can be tough to bring up the topic. It’s a very personal matter, and many people feel uncomfortable talking about it. There are many ways, however, to bring up the topic that don’t put pressure on you or your child, and can facilitate insightful conversations about your views on spirituality.

  • When something takes your breath away (such as a sunset, a piece of art, or someone being extraordinary kind to someone else), point it out to your child. Talk about why the experience is spiritual for you.
  • Many young people see clear connections between their own spiritual development and their actions in the world. For many, a sense of purpose is connected to their spirituality. When your child talks about feeling a sense of purpose or direction, talk about the spiritual dimensions of what he or she feels called to.
  • Ask your children about the differences they see between spirituality and religion, and share your own opinion. How closely are they related? How does one impact the other?

Talking with your child about spirituality can be a great learning experience for both of you. Make it a point to bring it up in conversation, and see where the discussion goes. You might be surprised!

Spiritual Life: Summary and Next Steps

When it comes to positive youth development, you may not immediately think of spirituality being a major concern. Research shows, however, that kids who express spirituality are more likely to feel a strong sense of purpose and have a positive view of their personal future. Faith communities also offer many beneficial opportunities that kids can engage in and allow them to build strong connections with other adults. Encourage your child to express her or his spirituality by whatever means she or he prefers, and know that you are doing a service that will benefit your child throughout the rest of her or his life.

Books Available from Search Institute

Other Useful Web Sites

  • Center for Spiritual Development — The Center’s Web site contains many useful and interesting research facts on spirituality as a facet of positive youth development.