What If My Teen Is Sexually Active?

Sometimes teenagers become sexually active. It happens. Not all teenagers who have sexual intercourse, however, use birth control.¹ As a result, they’re likely to experience a teen pregnancy or get a sexually transmitted infection (STI). The most important thing that you can do to prevent these consequences is to talk with your child about early sexual activity.

Preventing Teen Sexual Activity

• Tell your kids how you feel. Explain how most teenagers who have had sexual intercourse wish they had waited.² Just because teens have had sexual intercourse once, or a few times, doesn’t mean that they have to keep doing it. The same goes for all teen sexual activity.
• If your teenager tells you that he is thinking about having sexual intercourse, ask these questions, which will get your teen thinking about the many complicated facets of teen sexuality:
  • Why are you interested in having sex?
  • Are you feeling pressured? Are you pressuring someone else?
  • Are you afraid of losing a boyfriend or girlfriend if you don’t?
  • Are you willing to take responsibility for birth control?
  • Do you understand the risks involved in teen sexual activity?
• Are you open to reconsidering your decision?
• If your teen is sexually active and plans to continue, encourage your him to use birth control. You do not want your teenager to get pregnant, father a child, or contract an STI.
• Be clear that all it takes is one time to get (or to get someone else) pregnant. The only sure way to prevent teen pregnancy is abstinence from sexual intercourse.

• Stay connected with your teen. Teen sexuality is a difficult issue for many people to deal with. Keep talking about it with your child.

Finding out that your teen is sexually active can be a stressful experience, but by concentrating on helping him make good, well-informed decisions, you can have a positive effect on the situation. Avoid condemning your child, as this will only result in him being defensive and the situation becoming more difficult.