Early Sexual Activity: An Introduction

Who has the most influence on whether your child engages in early sexual behaviors? You do.1 That’s why it’s so important for parents to talk to their kids about sex and to give them clear guidelines about what is expected—and why. What exactly does “early” mean? Most parents and sex educators would hope it means before graduating from high school, but today only 35 percent of kids abstain from sexual intercourse until they’re 18.2 Tips for encouraging abstinence >
The asset-building approach encourages kids to abstain from early sexual activity. In fact, kids who value restraint and believe it’s important not to be sexually active (along with not using alcohol and other drugs) are more likely to succeed.

Did You Know?

  • According to Search Institute research, only 3 percent of middle and high school-aged youth with high levels of Developmental Assets indicate that they have had sexual intercourse. This contrasts sharply with the 33 percent of young people who have few assets and have had sex.
  • Tips for encouraging abstinence >
  • Even though teenagers are more likely to have sexual intercourse as they get older, having more assets keeps many from doing so. While 17 percent of high school seniors with 31 to 40 Developmental Assets say they have had sexual intercourse, 59 percent of high school seniors with 10 or fewer Developmental Assets report having sex.
  • High-school girls are most at risk when it comes to early sexual activity. Sixty-nine percent of high school senior girls who have 10 assets or fewer have sexual intercourse, compared to 54 percent of guys.3


1. Bill Albert, With One Voice: A 2009 Survey of Adults and Teens on Parental Influence, Abstinence, Contraception, and the Increase in the Teen Birth Rate (Washington, D.C.: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 2009).

2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance—United States, 2007,” Surveillance Summaries, June 6, 2008, MMWR 57, no. SS-4 (2008): 21.

3. Peter Benson and others, A Fragile Foundation: The State of Developmental Assets Among American Youth (Minneapolis: Search Institute, 1999), 78.



you should not bully people would you like it if they bullied you would you like it cause i wouldn’t want them 2 bully me. theey should be niice to the person who u bullied u should not bully someone wants to be nice 2 u


Not every family have these developmental assets that would help in encouraging kids to abstain from sex. Poor families are highly at risk of not having these assets. That is why lower income and lower educated families often grapple with the problem of teen pregnancies. Abstinence is always good, but in this day and age, it is harder to hold on to that value. H Taylor – http://www.paternitycentre.co.uk/blogs/

Abstinence should not be the first thing you tell your teenager, it should be an option. Tell your teenager about sex and all the different types of birth control. The more knowledgeable they are the less likely they will have an unforeseen pregnancy. Look at any booklet or pamphlet that discusses contraceptive and abstinence will say it is 100% guaranteed, but they do not factor in how many people can stay away from sex until they are married or even 18.

with all the knowledge teenagers get many still fall prey to pre marital sex



i saw my 5 year old son taking off his cloth and did the same for a girl of 5 years old too. when talking to him he said ‘we were playing’ but i felt that he knows that he bypassed certain boundaries, how can i deal with this situation

People think that it is easy to know that ur chils has had early sexual activites. But let me tell u its nt easy. It hurts them with all their heart and they always blame themselfs. Bt if u. V confodence and faith u can be strong.

Conventional ‘safe sex’ programs (sometimes erroneously called ‘abstinence plus’ programs) place little or no emphasis on encouraging young people to abstain from early sexual activity. Instead, such programs strongly promote condom use and implicitly condone sexual activity among teens. Nearly all such programs contain material and messages that would be alarming and offensive to the overwhelming majority of parents. Abstinence-only helps youth avoid emotional, physical and the spiritual damage of sex.

Abstinence programs offer a holistic approach, teaching teens how to build healthy relationships, increase self-worth and set appropriate boundaries in order to achieve future goals.

Young people who become sexually active are vulnerable to emotional and psychological injury as well as to physical diseases. Many young girls report experiencing regret or guilt after their initial sexual experience. In the words of one psychiatrist who recalls the effects of her own sexual experimentation in her teens, ‘The longest-standing, deepest wound I gave myself was heartfelt; that sick, used feeling of having given a precious part of myself—my soul—to so many and for nothing, still aches. I never imagined I’d pay so dearly and for so long.’

Comprehensive sex ed and forms of contraception such as Plan B make it appear acceptable to have rampant sex without taking full responsibility for unintended pregnancies, among other possible consequences. Many of these CSE programs also implicitly encourage sexual activity among the youths they teach. Guidelines developed by SEICUS, for example, include teaching children aged five through eight about masturbation and teaching youths aged 9 through 12 about alternative sexual activities such as mutual masturbation, ‘outercourse,’ and oral sex. In addition, the SEICUS guidelines suggest informing youths aged 16 through 18 that sexual activity can include bathing or showering together as well as oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse, and that they can use erotic photographs, movies, or literature to enhance their sexual fantasies when alone or with a partner. Not only do such activities carry their own risks for youth, but they are also likely to increase the incidence of sexual intercourse.

Surely, anyone can see the damage that a youth will suffer by becoming prematurely sexually active. Abstinence until marriage is the best answer, period. Give youth the truth and the facts and loving adults who encourage abstinence and most children will succeed in this. We should want to and seek to give our children a life of less regrets.

I have a son ,and a situation that is deeply in my heart as a concerned parent.the situation is that my son is almost 18 years ond,headstrong,dont like to be told what to do and if you pute your foot down he is more and likely to leave and never come back.he clames he is so in love,trust me i was like that when i was younger,i knew everything and my parents couldnt tell me nothing .He is 17 and will be 18 in 5 mths this women is in her 30 and he likes older girls.this is the first time he says he ever been happy.In his past relationships he has always been sad and at times even contiplated suicide,but thank god never followed threw.my feer is if i interupt in his relationship ,he is on probation he says he will leave home,never speak to me again. please i pray this is all confidential..he is on probation and gets off next month.my fear is if i push to hard and tell this girl to stay away from him,because he is so in loveh,i may do more harm than good.he is persistant no matter what hes going to be with her no matter what and worst of all she may be with child.please am i doing the right thing by not pushing the cituation so that he dosent relaps over this or am i just makeing it worse.he says she in the only thing that keeps him sober. please help if you have a response,thank you concerned parent.


This a very good

I’m really delighted I found this post. It’s nicely written and the information is excellent. I hope to uncover more like this.

Post new comment