Preventing Bullying
Travel in Groups – It can be more difficult to face a bully alone.
Be Calm and Direct – Directly and respectfully stand up to bullies, even if you aren’t the person being picked on. Stay calm and let the bully know that unkind behavior is not okay.
Avoid Fighting – Speaking up is the right thing to do, but being verbally aggressive or using physical force will likely make the situation more dangerous.
Report the Situation – Tell adults what is going on. If an adult is not available during the situation, be sure to report it later. Parents, teachers, and counselors can help you stay safe and solve the problem.
Steps For Parents…
Be Informed – Learn about your school’s policy toward bullying. How do staff members respond to these situations? How can families be involved in solutions?
Reach Out – Get in touch with professionals who understand bullying. Talk with teachers, program staff, and counselors who have experience with this issue.
Speak Out and Connect- with other parents or community members who care about creating a safe, positive environment for kids.
Be Alert – When the circumstances are violent or dangerous, involve law enforcement officials. Some adults are hesitant to take this step, but it can be necessary for preventing violence and breaking the cycle of bullying.
Comments
Don’t Be a Bystander! What Students Can Do about Bullying
Tips taken from The Right to Be Safe: Putting an End to Bullying Behavior, by Cricket Meehan.
Don’t:
- Spread rumors.
- Exclude classmates from activities.
- Join in.
- Laugh at other students being hurt.
- Cheer on the student who is bullying.
- Bully the student who is bullying. It is NEVER okay to use bullying behavior.
Do:
- Tell the person who is bullying to stop.
- Tell a trusted adult what is happening.
- Be a supportive friend to the person who is being bullied.
- Tell the student who is being bullied that it is NOT his or her fault.
The first suggestion to travel in groups is unrealistic. Usually those who are bullied are kids without friends. That’s why they’re easy prey.
I agree with anonymous. I have a very close relative that has been bullied. I want to educate myself as much as possible to help them. I think this is one of the most horrendous things to endure as a young teen.
I have a granddaughter that has been bullied, they took her out of school (8th grade) and now is home schooled. They reported it to the school, police, and township. Nothing!!!. The law about bulling is to scare and stop the kids from bulling. This is how I see it: It scared the school board, the teachers, the township office, the police, at least in the town that she lives in (the east side of Pa.) The answers the parents got, No not here, was there any wittiness (by the way there was, and they are to scared to say anything), there is nothing we can do. These people in office don’t want any trouble, no reports of trouble in the school, so the law to protect, was for the people in office not the kids!! My granddaughter loves to play basketball, she had to quit, she got great grades and had to quit, all because a pack of girls threading to beat the sh__ out of her, the threat was not once but several times, and my granddaughter was scared, ( she is not the type to be scared of things, BUT this, what kind of message does this send her. The school, township, police are here NOT to help!! And for me, what has happen to the offices that are to help, look into things, I know that they know that these girls are bad, but it is a lot easier to just to save their BUTTS, instead of the kids. So what would you do? What office in Pa. will and I repeat WILL help, I getting to have little faith in our government. Sign Grandpa
I have a 16 year old niece, who has being bullied for at least a month now. She came home and informed me, and I informed her to let the teachers, principals and school officers know. And she infact informed them numerous times before letting me know and afterwards. Still nothing was done. I told my niece to try and ignore her as often as possible. But I told my niece, that if the bully EVER put her hands on her, she better turn around and inflict as much pain as she could. The bully and her sister, after weeks on top of weeks of calling my niece all kinds of b-tches and h-es, and threatening to beat her m’f’ a** after school, they finally decided to try and jump my niece. They both are 2x’s bigger than my niece in weight. Now, keep in mind that the older bully, had just returned to school this very same day, from being suspended for trying to fight another student, who is a male. Though, he is 2x’s shorter and about 1/2 her weight. Clearly she’s using her size and weight to enable bullying. But, once my niece was hit in the face, by the first bully, she did exactly as I taught her, which is to defend yourself with an undescribeable force of strength. She was getting the best of the oldest bully, so her sister jumped in. My niece kicked her so hard out of fear and hurt, the sister went flying into the lockers, and at that point the young man that was also a victim of this girls bullying, came in to break up the fight, while the teachers stood and watched in awe.Do you kow, that my niece, the VICTIM, was handed down the same punishment as the bully? 5 days suspension and $130 ticket?! This was my nieces first time in trouble. The bully is a arbitual offender. She had just came back to school that same day from suspension. Where’s the justice? Why was my niece punishment so rough and harsh? The bully should be expelled, fined and do community service or something of that nature. I don’t beieve my niece should have been punished at all for simply defending herself!
Hi “Anonymous” (and all parents, grandparents, extended family members, and caregivers who have expressed concern here):
We (the ParentFurther team) want to address some of the comments that are being posted here in regard to bullying, particularly to the grandfather who posted his specific issue.
Bullying is a serious issue that requires ALL caring adults (parents, school staff, extended family members, community members, etc.) to contribute to the solution. The adults need to remove shaming and blaming discipline techniques and really learn the skills to help our young people’s journey through their tween/teen years. There is a wealth of resources that can help!For our grandparent reader in Pennsylvania – here are some resources we would like to point you to: The Center for Safe Schools has a great Bullying Prevention Tool Kit that can be shared. We encourage you to share it with teachers, neighbors, and caring community members.
The Ophelia Project is also a wonderful resource. They have school programs that include parents and mentoring by older teens – “CASS: Creating a Safe School™ empowers older students as trained mentors to their younger classmates and model positive social interaction and courageous intervention.”
There are also resources available regarding your state’s Anti-Bulling Laws. Visit Bullying Policy USA to learn more about your state’s laws.
We hope these resources help! Thank you for your passion to make things better, commitment to doing something, and willingness to share your story. All adults can take a cue from you.
Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that your niece had to go through the pain she has endured at the hands of the bully and the school district. I am a social worker in Illinois and teach anti-bullying classes in my district pre-school through eighth grade(I’m not in the high school). Your niece’s parents should contact the school board and ask to be put on the agenda to present their case at the next board meeting. Then do your research about school bullying. Make sure that the board members understand the cost to our youth by ignoring bullying, how would they act if this was their child?. Explain to them that the English language has a new term, “bullycide” due to our youth committing suicide as a direct result of being bullied. Any school that claims to not have bullying is in denial, ignorant of their environment or just lying to protect themselves. We must be pro-active when the school personel refuse to help our children. Getting back to the Board, insist that they explain to the community why this decision was made, and why your niece was basically “forced” to defend herself, why school personel did not attempt to intervene and why a known violent student is repeatedly allowed back in the school. Make sure that you document each contact, no matter how brief, that you have with school personel about the bullying issue. Make sure that you document the date, time, person spoke to and a synopsis of the meeting. If they say that they have had no contact with you regarding this, you can pull out your documentation. It just speaks to credibility. It would also be beneficial if you could get other victim’s parents to attend/support you as well. I hope that this helps. Tell your niece that she is in my prayers and that many of us are fighting/instructing to make sure that bullying is dealt with in our schools with the severity and immediacy that it should be. Oh, in regard to your granddaughter, in Illinois and Missouri home-schooled students can still participate in atheletics in their home districts. You may check this out with the State Board of Education, as it seems that the local individuals are of little assistance. ou may also speak with them regarding her situation. Make sure that you don’t lose your temper as this seems to hamper them really listening to you. Make sure that you have all of your facts in front of you so you don’t forget something important. Good Luck! I hope that this helps in some small way. Make sure that your niece is speaking to someone, a parent, other adult that will listen/support her, or counselor in dealing with her feelings about the situation and in dealing with continued contact with the bully and her sister. Watch for changes in behavior and make sure that every night she talks, even briefly about her school day. You don’t want her to believe that she is alone and that life is hopeless. If she has a teacher that she trusts, have her use that teacher as a resource to go to. If the school has a counselor or social worker, have her talk with them if she is comfortable. Having someone to support her at school, that she can go to immediately could be most beneficial, and keep reporting each incident of bullying. If she feels unable to reort the bullying herself, do it for her, and document it. I’m sorry that this was so long. I am very passionate about stopping bullying in our schools and healing our children. Mikesmaw
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