Teens and Boundaries

This is all great advice for a single family, where one parent is home to tend to the kids, but what about families in split homes where the rules and boundaries differ. Also, the epidemic the youth minister refers to is due largely to both parents having to work to survive and provide for their family. The lack of supervision of our children to provide for them allows them to make their own rules and “grow up” without boundaries being set and consequences being followed through with in the event of a rule being broken.

I think this article is great too I appreciate it’s breadth very much. I don’t know if I agree with everything in it, but it certainly gave me pause about the boundaries, discipline, and such I’m using regarding my son’s good behavior, misbehavior and the consequences for both. I am always searching for good ideas for parenting my son, and as is totally normal, he is especially challenging now, as a 13 y/o. He’s a very kind and friendly kid to his friends and other adults (and often to me), he’s a great student and he follows most of my rules. Reading your article reminded me how much I have to be thankful for. His misbehavior is mostly his reactions to having to do something he doesn’t want to do, to not getting what he wants or having a privilege removed for disobeying. But, again, reading your article reminded me that he is obedient very often and especially regarding my rules to ensure his safety, I’m very thankful for that.

I am a single parent of two girls, 12 & 8 yrs old. I have had to crack down on my 12 yr old just recently regarding responsibilities, boundaries, consequences,etc. I am proud to say…it works! So, if I can do it (single parent) then there is no excuse for a two parent family even with both of them working. With firm consistency, manageable rewards, and age appropriate consequences, a parent can raise a responsible, well behaved child.

This is a great article. Many parents have a fear of disapline when it comes to teenagers especially a 16 year old girl. I am a grandmother that adopted my grand daughter. Sometimes I feel she hates me. She really shows no respect for her grandfather or I. we are not in great health but we do try to make her happy. When she is caught in a lie or etc. she plays the guilt trip on us. Everything is our fault, or anyones except hers. I really wish there was someone out there that could guide me in the right direction and most of all make me strong.

Submitted by Anonymous on 03/28/12
I am a grandmother raising my grandson from when he was 1, he is now 16 years old. Oh My how the time flies! Regarding responsibilities, boundaries, consequences,etc. I to am having my share of problems. I constantly remind myself that I am in the mother role now not the grandparent role, and beleive me it is very hard to seperate the two. My grandson has discovered he has a mind of his own which is expected in growing up, however we always talk about consequences of actions, curfews and of course chores. My grandson is almost always mad at me but loves me dearly. I know god had good intentions for me and my grandson, but he could have warned me ahead of time ha ha.

I have a 13 year girl.. she looks 18 but has a brain of a 13 yr old. She started her period when she was 11. She has had hormones, attitude, boy craziness….etc.. I feel as if her father and I communicate with her well. I have had friends tell me that some of her teachers say she has a reputation with the boys. She won’t go in detail. I just don’t understand how she can have a reputation when she is rarely out of my sight. Then I got a call today from one of her teachers saying she took up a note between her and another girl. The basis of the note was talking about having sex.(her friend wrote: I think *** took you serious about wanting to have sex) SHE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW THIS BOY!
My question is do you think this is a 13yr old looking for attention or am I missing something? My next question is how do you punish for writing notes about things you have not done? She does not have a phone, facebook, Ipod…I have nothing to take away from her to communicate with older boys outside her school. She is a a-b student, cheerleader, student council, all around good girl. She is far from perfect, but I really didn’t think I was going to have to deal with this at this age.