Your Guide to a Peaceful Household

Let's face it. Conflicts are inevitable. Kids have different ideas, different solutions, and different ways to approach problems. Because of this, resolving conflicts peacefully is a key skill that kids need to succeed.1 (It’s also one of the 40 Developmental Assets.2) As kids grow up, it’s important that they learn how to resolve conflicts peacefully (without giving in) and how to get along well with others.

Did You Know?

  • The number one way young people resolve conflicts is by fighting.3 Most kids say that if someone hit or pushed them for no reason, they’d hit or push right back.5
  • Teenage guys are twice as likely as teenage girls to say they would try to hurt someone worse than that person had hurt them.5
  • Kids who bully others tend to have difficulties in their relationships with parents and friends.6
  • Younger teens (those in sixth grade) are almost four times as likely as twelfth graders to talk to a teacher or another adult if they’re having trouble resolving a conflict.7
  • High-school seniors are almost twice as likely as seventh graders to talk to the person they’re in conflict with and try to work out their differences.8
Conflict resolution skills are gained by experience and practice—so help your child start building these crucial abilities by engaging in peaceful conflict resolution at home. If your child is able to work through problems well at home, she will have an advantage when it comes to conflicts at school (and beyond).
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1. Peter Benson, All Kids Are Our Kids: What Communities Must Do to Raise Caring and Responsible Children and Adolescents (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2006), 55.

2. Ibid.

3. Search Institute, Developmental Assets: A Profile of Your Youth, Executive Summary, (Minneapolis: Search Institute, 2005), unpublished report, Appendix A-18.

4. Ibid.

5. Ibid.

6. ScienceDaily, “Children Who Bully Also Have Problems with Other Relationships,” ScienceDaily, March 26, 2008.

7. Search Institute, ibid.

8. Ibid.

 

Comments

5

I need help for my 15 year old son he has stolen numerous times from us and lied,bad temper and used drugs we can’t afford any program and he needs help please
I tryed to ground him but he just takes off and i call 911 say he ran away and all they can do is bring him home I can’t control him I have tryed

I would suggest an inpatient treatment plan of some sort because once he’s 16 you’ve lost him. call his pediatrician and tell him or her the situation. they can suggest alot more than the police. he is seeking bad attention.

Is there a local church that offers a youth program? hanging out with with kids in a youth group could be beneficial, because he might be hanging out with bad crowds. It’s hard work raising teens isn’t it? There is no book that can help us. My religion has been very helpful in getting me through these tough times.Hope this helps.

Hi I work in an institute for helping unfortunate children in poor neighbourhood We have children facing lots of challenges like being abandoned by their parents or having an addict parent, most of them steel I need help in making them understand that this is wrong . I feel bad about not being capable to save them don’t know how to deal with this Any suggestions?

I am having a terrible time with my 7 year old especially over bed time.She used to be very good until recently although nothing in our lives has changed. She is good at school and all is well with us until bedtime comes around when she turns into a complete monster. Help please
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I think you need to ask your daughter whether she is having nightmares or is some one bullying her at school. Maybe see what she is eating at night is not making her hyper. or take her for a walk to the park and let her run realize her energy. Hope this helps.

our son (20 years) doesn’t respect our house rules, (curfew, chores, etc). we have two other teenage sons who are seeing his example and are now starting to follow his lead. do we kick him out (he has no way to support himself, but that is another issue) if not any other ideas on how to get the back in balance?

I am having a terrible time with my 7yr.old with school and on the bus he’s not willing to do his work in class, not wanting to listen to his teacher, he distracts other kids in the class and on the bus. He does fine at home but when it comes to school his whole attitude changes please help!!!

I have a 18 and a 16 year old 18 year old had a low intellect disabilities and other issue about relationships also have 20 year old 25 year moved home 25 year old have there own ways and own rules conflict younger teenage boys picking up on there ways what should I do?

I need help with a 12 year old who is very argumentative. He has behaviour difficulties, and when I try to use boundaries it often leads to conflict as he works my other children up who then question me which makes me feel cornered. The people supporting me are not much help when it comes to this. I often feel I have to stay silent and take the aggressive arguments when I see him.

He does not like being told no or having things explained to him. This often leads to arguments over who has rights between me and his carers. He doesn’t understand that parental responsibility is shared, and thinks his carers have all the rights. I have tried resolving this by explaining to him that some things need discussing with his care givers before I can give him permission to do certain things, but this leads to further conflict.

I am finding it very difficult and I feel overpowered because saying the right thing and being assertive then leads to conflict with him, his siblings and professionals and I find myself unheard. Can anybody help? I don’t want to make him feel unwanted or turn him against me further.

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