How Rude!

Lying

  • Talk about lies and withholding information. Explain when you’re tempted to lie and why. Discuss how you make decisions to be honest instead of deceitful.
  • Choose your battles carefully. Not all lies are the same. All of us tell white lies at times. Be harder on the big lies your child tells than the smaller lies, but make it clear that honesty and tact are the best choices.
  • Admit when you’ve made a mistake. Adults are not perfect people. Kids admire adults when they own their mistakes and correct them.
  • Avoid treating your child as a suspect. Yes, your child may have lied, but don’t act as an interrogator. Instead, calmly explain why you’re upset about the lie. Talk about how people have a hard time trusting someone who has lied and how important trust is in any relationship.

Swearing

  • Children learn to swear from people who use foul language, so make sure you set a good example in your home. If you don’t swear but your child starts to, pay attention to where he is learning the behavior. Try to get this person or people to stop using this kind of language around your child.
  • Watch your reactions. If you laugh or give your child a lot of attention when she swears, she will most likely do it again.
  • Older kids and teenagers learn that swearing is a way to blow off steam. Encourage your kids to use other words. Some kids actually enjoy being creative and inventing their own slang or just making sound effects and making distorted faces instead.
  • If kids continue to swear when you’ve asked them not to, remove privileges until they’ve learned to stop.

Burps, Farts, and Other Gross Behavior

  • Take a deep breath. It’s normal for kids to discover that their bodies can burp, fart, and make noises that they never imagined. Part of this comes from curiosity, but another part comes from discovering what makes people laugh—or groan.
  • Create clear guidelines about how to act. Decide which behaviors are inappropriate all the time, and those that are okay just with family and friends. Maybe you think burping is okay for friends to do during playtime but decide that it’s inappropriate during meals and when you’re in public.
  • Expect some gross behavior. As kids grow and learn, they sometimes accidentally do gross things, such as drip urine on the toilet seat, forget a half-eaten banana in a backpack, or smear ketchup on the table. What matters is how you respond and how you teach your child to act.
  • Watch your reactions—and the reactions of others around you. It’s hard to teach a child not to fart loudly if other family members can’t stop laughing when it happens.

You Said What?

  • Realize that your kids will say outlandish, inappropriate things at times. Sometimes they’re testing you to see how you’ll react. Sometimes they’re mimicking another person—or a character they’ve seen on TV.
  • Be clear of what’s appropriate and what’s not. You don’t want your kids to point at people who look different from them and say derogatory remarks.
  • Teach your kids how to interact with others respectfully and graciously. They need to learn not only what to say but how to talk with others. Encourage them to look people in the eye, smile, answer questions, and ask questions.
  • Some kids say horrendous things to feel accepted among their peers. This often happens when a group of older kids or teenagers get together. Place boundaries on them. Encourage them to find other ways to talk in creative—and less mean—ways.
 

Comments

1

this doesn’t help me at all about how to keep my four year old from lying

3

This Is Very Helpful You Must Be Mindful of your scolding methods.

1

not helpful

My son keeps weeing all around the house he is 5 & Knows to use the toilet but just lately he has weed in the bath washbasket dog bowl & his bedroom curtains.

5

Great article. Obviously if you are trying to force your kid not to lie then this approach will take some effort to understand :)

1

not very helpful

My granddaughter has been cutting the eyes and guts out of her beloved stuffed animals. Parents are always fighting in front of her – don’t know what to do.

i have recently adopted 2 sisters and the eldest one is 5yrs old and she is having alot.of behavioral problems she is overly emotional n very angry where she lashes out at anyone in contact with her plz help me get help i see the worse in her

We adopted 3 siblings from being our
foster kids for two years. Your 5 year old adopted daughter
May have had a head/brain injury in their life before
Your adoption. There are a lot of underlying circumstance
any adopted child. Even though they may not remember their
Life before being adopted, their brain holds onto those
Harmful & degrading memories. Just leave for a
moment to gather yourself. Kids who are adopted often
did not have good bonding with their bio mother &/or
father. I totally understand where you are coming from. I
need help with our 8 1/2 year old daughter who has
taken up stealing & lying just for the sake of it. Anyone??
I know foster-adopted kids usually have food issues &
Taking stuff from someone they want to be closer to.

My eight year old grandaughter is having what i woud call abnormal thoughts about eating poo and wanting her mum to get run
Over could this be because her mum has started seeing a man after being on her own with my grandaughter for the past eight years

My granddaughter has lied about her dad said he kissed her tot tot and she is 8 years old I know she is lying she has told other lies on her siblings to .her memaw

thinks she would never lie I having been living with this child all her life I can tell when she is lying she is not a bad child but her memaw thinks she is perfect now they have got DHR involved they are in foster care and I don’t know what to do I can’t say anything to her about it cause he is my son they think I am on his side because I’m his mother but if he are anybody hurt one the kids I would be the first to do something about it .if this hade happen when she was 3 she would have told her mom they are very close I don’t want my granddaughter hurt because of this or damaged in any way but I don’t know what to do . She don’t know how this is hurting everybody and DHR believes her I think that her memaw put her up to this in my heart I believe it I just don’t understand she loves her dad and he is close to all the girls they cry for him more than they do thier mom but the 8 year old would have said something before instilled of waiting 3 years to tell it now that’s the only reason I have my sanity I know she was coasted Ito it but I don’t know how to prove it Any comments Email carolynclark334@gmail .com

Help my daughter whos six right away walked in on my boyfreind and me haveing sex ,,now shes saying things like lets have sex lets get naked and trying to kiss me like she seen us kiss help Ive tried to exsplain it cleary that we are showing love from our hearts ,tthis did not help!!!!!!!!!!!! someone help me to approach this right with her shes very very smart,this ispart of the prblem,shes acting out now and getting inapprpiate through the day almost each day since this happened ,,,,,,Its hard I was sexua;;y abused at her age I need help from someone please ,doing it to help her development properly amnd keep her safty abpove all is most importannt ,,,,,Im affriad Ive gone way over board because of my dears someone will do to her as me….........

my 5 year old nd 3 year old for the past 6 months being lying almost on every incident…it wasnt me…he hit me first etc..**other than switching tele off…and say in your room and Im unhappy about all this. Thats all not working:’(..
replying at carolynclark334@gmail .com*
Please note that children find it extremely difficult to speak out about any kind of abuse…so if it did happen then don’t be surprised she didn’t tell anyone straight away. How did she realize that someone or her dad kissing her like this is WRONG... U must look at a lot of issues around the matter…and don’t rule out ANY possibilities….
I worked at a women’s psychotherapy centre…you will be SHOCKED what a child’s mind goes through when abused…

I was abused and only managed to tell my parents and siblings when I was expecting my first child…this is to protect any my kids nd relatives from being abused…

please think about the child before saying she is lyong…

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